Back to Pastels

My muse has been prodding me to start painting in pastels again. So I listened. (I have posted a new pastel painting for your viewing pleasure.) "Topsail Sunset II" reminds me why I love that little island, and why I love to paint.

The economy has not slowed down the making of art among artists. I find this time valuable to build a body of work, as I explore other avenues for my work. In October, I am going to exhibit a body of work called "At Water's Edge". The coastal areas are a favorite theme of mine. I just love how the land and water interact, and how the environment changes the lighting and atmosphere.

I am still struggling with a block. This is the first time I have been blocked in two years. Last time it happened, I ended up in the psychiatric hospital with a severe bipolar episode. The block may have been caused by the mood swing. In this current block, my mood is once again unstable. So I am working on my coping skills, and doing mickey mouse work to stay busy.

I have joined another art league, and have booked a restaurant and coffee shop to show my work in 2011. As I venture out to new venues, I find my muse is pleased, and the dreaded block is occasionally lifting. I just have to wait it out. There is no other way around it!

Artfully yours,

Cathy Harville

Creative Famines

I am going through some changes to my meds, which is causing a "creative famine". Actually, I have no trouble with planning the creative process, just in the execution.

My mind and body are not cooperating - I am wired and tired, and my focus is almost non-existent. I think I know why, but it is scary to think that a drug can have so much effect on one's productivity.

The reason I am changing meds, is because of side effects - body jerking at night before I get to sleep. While not dangerous, the body jerks make it impossible to get to sleep. Over time, there is the possibility that they will become permanent.

All of this is contributing to a lack of concentration for almost any activity. I can do laundry, but that is about it! Painting has become difficult, since without concentration, I cannot stick working on a painting. Even typing this is difficult!

Mental disorders are complicated. And treatment of them is equally complicated. To all of you out there experiencing a mental disorder, my heart goes out to you. I hope you have a good doctor. Hang in there. Science is slowly, but surely, getting some answers to these puzzles.

Artfully yours,

Cathy

Potholes

After the major snows we had this winter, the roads are full of potholes. It is to be expected, but, nonetheless, they are annoying. It takes a while for crews to fix them, but the road is just never the same again.

Life is full of potholes - all the challenges, irritations, and burdens that come in all shapes and sizes. This past week, I fell into a major pothole. I had a relapse from bipolar disorder, and landed in the hospital. Now grateful to be home, I find myself reflecting on how to fix that pothole - how to better manage my life with this illness.

First, I want to thank everyone that "came to the rescue" as I am struggling with my latest pothole. It is so much appreciated.

Second, I realized that some things had to change in my life. With any mental illness, ordinary, daily issues can turn into huge monsters. Now, instead of panicking, I can step back and figure out what needs adjusting. I am becoming more assertive, and honest, and I am asking for help.

This relapse also made me realize that we live life in the present - not the past or future. By focusing on the present, life gets easier.

I want to thank everyone who provides support and love for me, not only during times of struggle, but also all year long. Sometimes it takes a village to fix a pothole.

On the mend,

Cathy

Yoga and Art

In tonight's yoga class, we focused on introspection. It was interesting how hard it is to not think about things outside of yourself. But as I continued breathing and softening, images came forth that I wish I could create on canvas - images of light, and my soul reaching to the light; images of peace, and my heart outstretched to the peace.

For the first time in a while, I felt completely relaxed, whole, and renewed. Yoga is a practice. And as we continue to practice, we receive more benefit from that practice.

Art is similar - the more we practice, the more we receive from making art. It is not just about getting "better". It is about becoming more aware, more in tune with what our art is. Practice allows meditation to take place while we are doing familiar techniques or strokes. Practice allows us to get lost in the art, to get into the zone of just being and making art.

Yesterday, a private from the Army at Ft. Meade came into my studio to practice photography. This 19 year old was destined to be a combat photographer. As she moved about the studio, I painted, and painted and painted. for a short time, I forgot she was there. Out of the quiet came a question, and I realized that I had been in that special place, totally absorbed in my work. She had taken over 100 photographs while I was in art-land!

So much more could be accomplished if we could just be in the moment, and not judge, and accept what is. Allowing ourselves to just be present is a gift many people rarely give themselves. Yet, our beings need to just "be". Relaxing our mind, our bodies, and our hearts gets us in touch with our soul's needs.

I finished the painting I was working on that day. The simple sand dunes and grasses in the late afternoon sun gave me a sense of renewal. I hope the painting has the same effect on you.

Artfully yours,

Cathy

A Beautiful Monday

After yet another weekend of rain, the sun is shining on this beautiful Monday. This spring has got to be the wettest I can remember for a decade!

The rain has brought us gifts in the form of green life, and profusely blooming flowers. Everything this spring has been so intense - the color, the saturation, and....the gloom on the seemingly endless sunless days.

Humans need sunlight. We are hard-wired to take in sunlight through our eyes and skin, and produce vitamin D and various amino acids and hormones. It is a well-known fact that people in higher latitudes often suffer from seasonal affective disorder, or SAD. Canadians flock to Florida over the winter, to escape the not only the cold, but to soak up the sun's necessary rays.

The depletion of the ozone layer in the last 20 years has caused more UV rays to make their way to the earth. Compound that with the melting of glaciers, and the UV burden increases even more. More UV rays means more cases of cataracts, and skin cancer. Modern sunblocks made to combat the UV rays are now known to contain compounds that react with the sunlight to create carcinogens! So what are we to do?

It all goes back to our stewardship of the planet. While we probably cannot reverse the damage we have done, I am still optimistic that we can prevent further damage to our environment. If everyone would turn off lights in unoccupied rooms, and turn off power strips to computers, TVs and printers, it would go a long way to saving energy and less green house gases would be emitted into the atmosphere. If we gave up beef, the methane produced by cattle would go away. If we used less gasoline, the environment would improve. If we consumed less, the environment would improve.

As an artist, I am very attuned to the landscape around us. Our open spaces and wild places provide me with my inspiration for paintings. I am trying to do my part. Rather than consume, I reuse, recycle, and renew. I paint over canvases. I take damaged frames to a framer, so they can be made into smaller frames and reused. My trips to the art store are limited to purchasing the essential things I need, rather than buying $30 of stuff I don't need. I don't print out anything unless I really need it. I wear my clothes until they wear out. i also support the Chesapeake Bay Foundation, to protect this national treasure, and to insure that future generations may enjoy the bay as we do now.

I am not perfect, in fact, I have to learn some new habits to do my part in saving the environment. Old habits are hard to break, but with conscious thought, it can be done.

So....as I go out on this beautiful day, and walk my canine friend Lucy, I am thankful for the sun, and thankful for clear blue sky and green vegetation. And yes, I will wear sunblock, lest my skin becomes burned.

Artfully yours,

Cathy Harville

Major Life Events

greetings everyone,

I subscribe to Robert Genn's Painter's Keys. He recently had an interesting quote:

PS: "Major life events can paralyze your creativity. If you uncover what's going on behind the 'big picture,' though, you can bring yourself back into being in the moment and loving your life." (Guillermo Cuellar)

I agree with Robert, and with Cuellar - major life events, even good ones, can greatly affect creativity.

When I read this quote, I must say I felt a bit relieved. Over the past two months, I have had my share of illnesses, and I am still a bit under the weather with a sinus infection that won't let go. And during this time, my creativity has suffered. On the flip side, I have had more time to think, and let ideas percolate.

My husband and I went to the Florida Keys this past week. I wasn't sure I even wanted to go, but I am glad I did. One of the highlights of the trip was having a first encounter with Key deer. These miniature deer are only 26-32 inches tall, and they only live on a few of the Keys. Naturalists think that these deer were separated from the mainland deer during the last ice age, about 12-13,000 years ago. Their small size matches the land area and vegetative growth they need to survive. As an endangered species, the deer have developed a fondness for people. Although it is illegal to feed them, many of the locals do give them bits of vegetables and fruit. And instead of being nocturnal, they are on the same time schedule as humans.

Our first encounter was with three deer. They all licked my fingers. My husband spent several minutes scratching the ears and face of a small male. After they realized we had no people food to give them, they went about their business. We went into the refuge, and around every curve, we saw deer, eating and laying down, soaking up the winter sun. None of them seemed to fear us.

The Keys are mostly an unspoiled landscape (except for Key West, which is a real tourist trap). I took a few hundred pictures of the clear water, the mangrove trees, and coconut and palm trees. Presently, I am working on a series of palm frond paintings. The light on the fronds was beautiful, and I hope I can do them justice.

Back to major life events - even though I was not feeling well most of the trip, the experience was unforgettable and nourishing. For a little while, I forgot all of my petty problems, and experienced the harmony and healing beauty of nature. I really didn't want to come home.

It snowed this week. Another beautiful gift - the whiteness of the snow provides a tremendous amount of reflected sunlight - just what we all need in the dead of winter - lots of light!

As I continue in this New Year, I can feel a major shift in my thinking, and I am learning to channel negative events into my right hemisphere, and find the positive message. I think that is a good way to approach the winter cold and darkness - to find the light and warmth.

paint yourself a great day,

Cathy

Adversity

A Happy New year to all!



My New year didn't start out so well. I was in the hospital the first part of December of 2008, then I when I returned home, I seemed to catch every bug and flu going around.



I feel much better, though a bit rattled by the whole ordeal. Back at my easel, the doubts of whether I can still paint keep running through my tired head.



Adversity teaches us to be patient. We are not in control of very much of anything. All we can control is how we react to various stimuli. That's about it. We cannot control anything happening outside of ourselves. The realization of how little control we have comes with adversity.



In adverse situations, we just have to let go, and let the universe do its thing. Through adversity, I learned that we are not complete little laptops that can be plugged in and always perform up to a given standard. We are human, and we are frail creatures. Think about it. We need water everyday, several times, and we need a constant intake of nutrients, just to stay alive. We need other humans to help us. We cannot do much by ourselves.



Not meaning to start the New year off with a negative frame of mind, I want to put the positive spin on this. By needing other people, the need goes both ways. Artists need to create art that other people need in order to enjoy. Art, without someone appreciating it, is not really art. And how can something be self-expression, if no one hears it, or sees it? For example, Van Gogh's art was never even considered beautiful until after his death. That is unfortunate for poor Vincent, but we have so much more in the way of getting ourselves out there than he did.



I don't know if anyone out there even reads my stories. Eventually, someone will. I am putting myself out there, because somewhere along the line, someone will connect with what I have to share. If I can positively affect one person, I am happy with my efforts.



Generally, speaking, adversity stinks. But accepting our humanness and limitations can be a very liberating thing. Knowing that we aren't all knowing is freeing. Knowing that we need other people is comforting. And knowing that we will be ill, is knowing that there will be someone to care for us. And expecting that things may go wrong makes the inevitable easier to swallow.



So this year, I start off by embracing my limitations - all the bumps and warts that make me human. Beyond that, I just hope i get the opportunity to paint, and make someone happy. To ask for little is to receive a lot.



Best wishes to all,

Cathy

The Time Has Come

I have come to realize that perhaps I am not good at keeping a daily blog, or even weekly for that matter. But since I enjoy it, I will continue. This forum gives me the opportunity to bare my soul, and share my innermost thoughts with total strangers.

Doesn't sound like a good deal? Maybe it is. Only through self-expression can we move forward. My art is a great vehicle for expressing my ideas and feelings, but the written word will continue to have tremendous power in our lives.

So here's the deal...it is time to talk about a rather "fringe" topic in society - that of mental health. I can envision readers rolling their eyes, getting uncomfortable, maybe even thinking, "here is just another wacko". But bear with me for a few sentences, and consider the impact that mental health has on our society. Stress is a mental health issue, and is the leading cause of workplace absenteeism in our society. We are bombarded with new technology on a daily basis, and expected to learn new skills which even 10 years ago did not exist. Our children are glued to screens instead of books, and texting instead of talking.

In the midst of all this, there is an alarming epidemic of humans who have mental health issues. Maybe you do. I certainly do. I struggle with a brain chemical disorder on a daily basis. My health plan treats my illness like it is not quite legitimate, making the task of seeking help very difficult, and inevitably, quite costly.

We are often frightened by what we do not understand. But unlike a new remote, or fancy cell phone that we can ignore, the problem of mental health cannot be shoved aside. Mental health problems are a silent epidemic that are only noticed when someone with a mental health problem is messing up - breaking the law, behaving in unusual ways, or drawing attention to themselves.

Most of us with brain illnesses are able to navigate through society quietly, using tools we have learned to survive, or even thrive in our complicated world. Some are not so fortunate. I am quite fortunate - I have a support system, good physicians, and I am able to make art. On the downside, I cannot keep a rigid, demanding schedule, or be superwoman anymore. Despite my health issues, I can still contribute to society and my family. Art has given me that opportunity.

If you are still reading this, you are either crazy like me, and understand, or are perhaps curious...or enjoying the voyeurism that blogging provides. It doesn't matter to me. What matters is that somewhere out there, someone read the message that they are not alone. Or someone out there learned a little bit about mental health.

Perhaps you won't come back. That is okay. I still plan to write when I am able, talking about boats, art, and common struggles. In fact, over the past few weeks, stories are piling up! That is okay, too. Just the fact that I am out on the boat, or making art is a healthy thing. When the time comes to sit in front of this screen, I will be back. I still want to talk about pea soup fog, and pricing art work. But not today.

Peace and prosperity,
Cathy