Lately, I have not been doing too well. I have death wishes, and need large quantities of sugar and chocolate to make it through the day.
I also need someone with me, to get me out of my head. During an extreme episode like this, being by myself is a disaster. Now I understand how solitary confinement breaks people down.
Everything is a challenge, from composing and printing a simple letter, to doing the laundry. In the midst of all this, I allow myself the "luxury" to paint whatever comes out - lousy, good, bad, hideous - it does not matter.
I pretend that I am in Cathy's Day program. I do silly non-productive, but mildly productive things. It really helps.
The brownies are out of the oven, courtey of my daughter. Their smell alone brings enormous comfort, and the hope that tomorrow will be better.
And it will be. I can sleep on that belief.
Peace,
Cathy
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