Art Therapy

Greetings to all,

As most of you know, I am trying to manage a brain disorder. (If you didn't know, I guess I am coming out of the closet!) Yesterday, I went to a KIFA (Kent Island Federation of Art) meeting. The members there were very nice, and it was a pleasant time.

I knew that there would be a demo at the KIFA meeting. What I didn't know was that we could participate by painting a vase of flowers on this wild, Yupo paper with watercolors. As I followed some preliminary instructions, I dabbed my brush into the juicy watercolor, and started to paint. Within a few minutes, it seemed like art therapy I had in a few of my hospitalizations. I giggled to myself as I played with abandon.

Distraction and keeping busy are powerful tools when managing a brain disorder. By distracting myself, and keeping busy, I am able to push the uncomfortable symptoms to the background, often forgetting about how bad I feel for a while. Movies are also great distractions. With the big screen, it is almost guaranteed that you will have a few hours of peace.

While my art effort at the meeting will not win any awards, I saved it as a reminder of the power of distraction and play in coping with bipolar disorder. Whenever I feel unable to cope, I need to find some busy play, to distract myself. While this cognitive therapy is not always easy, it is effective.

I also learned that my current artist block is penetrable. All I need to do is play, experiment, and have some fun, as well as be patient - for this too, shall pass.

Artfully yours,

Cathy Harville

PS - The attached jpeg is "Cooling Off", 8"X10" pastel by yours truly. (I didn't wan't to post the yupo flower picture just yet - the vase is a little cockeyed, and needs a bit of attention.)

Creative Famines

I am going through some changes to my meds, which is causing a "creative famine". Actually, I have no trouble with planning the creative process, just in the execution.

My mind and body are not cooperating - I am wired and tired, and my focus is almost non-existent. I think I know why, but it is scary to think that a drug can have so much effect on one's productivity.

The reason I am changing meds, is because of side effects - body jerking at night before I get to sleep. While not dangerous, the body jerks make it impossible to get to sleep. Over time, there is the possibility that they will become permanent.

All of this is contributing to a lack of concentration for almost any activity. I can do laundry, but that is about it! Painting has become difficult, since without concentration, I cannot stick working on a painting. Even typing this is difficult!

Mental disorders are complicated. And treatment of them is equally complicated. To all of you out there experiencing a mental disorder, my heart goes out to you. I hope you have a good doctor. Hang in there. Science is slowly, but surely, getting some answers to these puzzles.

Artfully yours,

Cathy

Potholes

After the major snows we had this winter, the roads are full of potholes. It is to be expected, but, nonetheless, they are annoying. It takes a while for crews to fix them, but the road is just never the same again.

Life is full of potholes - all the challenges, irritations, and burdens that come in all shapes and sizes. This past week, I fell into a major pothole. I had a relapse from bipolar disorder, and landed in the hospital. Now grateful to be home, I find myself reflecting on how to fix that pothole - how to better manage my life with this illness.

First, I want to thank everyone that "came to the rescue" as I am struggling with my latest pothole. It is so much appreciated.

Second, I realized that some things had to change in my life. With any mental illness, ordinary, daily issues can turn into huge monsters. Now, instead of panicking, I can step back and figure out what needs adjusting. I am becoming more assertive, and honest, and I am asking for help.

This relapse also made me realize that we live life in the present - not the past or future. By focusing on the present, life gets easier.

I want to thank everyone who provides support and love for me, not only during times of struggle, but also all year long. Sometimes it takes a village to fix a pothole.

On the mend,

Cathy

Sometimes You Just Have to Surrender

For the past two weeks, I have been ill with the world-renown H1N1 virus. So for the past 2 weeks, which feels like two years when you are sick, I have been unable to paint, wash the car, or keep up with cleaning. The main offending symptoms were wicked fatigue, weakness, and achiness in joints I didn't even know I had!

This morning, I woke up nearly symptom free. As the morning has progressed, my joints are reminding me that now is not the time to start an aerobic exercise program.

Sickness slows us down, and makes us surrender. And that is not such a bad thing. We have to really pay attention to our bodies when we are ill. So, during the past two weeks, I have read a lot, updated my marketing materials, enjoyed chocolate muffins, and napped whenever I felt like it. I have watched lots of movies, football, sitcoms, and Survivor. The folks on Survivor looked liked they felt much worse than me - I have snuggly blankets to stay warm, and a roof that doesn't leak!

I started playing around with painting today. While I was painting, all the aches seemed to melt away. I entered that special zone, where anything is possible. While the fatigue cut my session short, I still enjoyed those sensuous moments of mixing paint, and covering canvases. And maybe by this weekend, I will be ready to work on some real art.

Cheers,

Cathy Harville

Major Life Events

greetings everyone,

I subscribe to Robert Genn's Painter's Keys. He recently had an interesting quote:

PS: "Major life events can paralyze your creativity. If you uncover what's going on behind the 'big picture,' though, you can bring yourself back into being in the moment and loving your life." (Guillermo Cuellar)

I agree with Robert, and with Cuellar - major life events, even good ones, can greatly affect creativity.

When I read this quote, I must say I felt a bit relieved. Over the past two months, I have had my share of illnesses, and I am still a bit under the weather with a sinus infection that won't let go. And during this time, my creativity has suffered. On the flip side, I have had more time to think, and let ideas percolate.

My husband and I went to the Florida Keys this past week. I wasn't sure I even wanted to go, but I am glad I did. One of the highlights of the trip was having a first encounter with Key deer. These miniature deer are only 26-32 inches tall, and they only live on a few of the Keys. Naturalists think that these deer were separated from the mainland deer during the last ice age, about 12-13,000 years ago. Their small size matches the land area and vegetative growth they need to survive. As an endangered species, the deer have developed a fondness for people. Although it is illegal to feed them, many of the locals do give them bits of vegetables and fruit. And instead of being nocturnal, they are on the same time schedule as humans.

Our first encounter was with three deer. They all licked my fingers. My husband spent several minutes scratching the ears and face of a small male. After they realized we had no people food to give them, they went about their business. We went into the refuge, and around every curve, we saw deer, eating and laying down, soaking up the winter sun. None of them seemed to fear us.

The Keys are mostly an unspoiled landscape (except for Key West, which is a real tourist trap). I took a few hundred pictures of the clear water, the mangrove trees, and coconut and palm trees. Presently, I am working on a series of palm frond paintings. The light on the fronds was beautiful, and I hope I can do them justice.

Back to major life events - even though I was not feeling well most of the trip, the experience was unforgettable and nourishing. For a little while, I forgot all of my petty problems, and experienced the harmony and healing beauty of nature. I really didn't want to come home.

It snowed this week. Another beautiful gift - the whiteness of the snow provides a tremendous amount of reflected sunlight - just what we all need in the dead of winter - lots of light!

As I continue in this New Year, I can feel a major shift in my thinking, and I am learning to channel negative events into my right hemisphere, and find the positive message. I think that is a good way to approach the winter cold and darkness - to find the light and warmth.

paint yourself a great day,

Cathy

The Time Has Come

I have come to realize that perhaps I am not good at keeping a daily blog, or even weekly for that matter. But since I enjoy it, I will continue. This forum gives me the opportunity to bare my soul, and share my innermost thoughts with total strangers.

Doesn't sound like a good deal? Maybe it is. Only through self-expression can we move forward. My art is a great vehicle for expressing my ideas and feelings, but the written word will continue to have tremendous power in our lives.

So here's the deal...it is time to talk about a rather "fringe" topic in society - that of mental health. I can envision readers rolling their eyes, getting uncomfortable, maybe even thinking, "here is just another wacko". But bear with me for a few sentences, and consider the impact that mental health has on our society. Stress is a mental health issue, and is the leading cause of workplace absenteeism in our society. We are bombarded with new technology on a daily basis, and expected to learn new skills which even 10 years ago did not exist. Our children are glued to screens instead of books, and texting instead of talking.

In the midst of all this, there is an alarming epidemic of humans who have mental health issues. Maybe you do. I certainly do. I struggle with a brain chemical disorder on a daily basis. My health plan treats my illness like it is not quite legitimate, making the task of seeking help very difficult, and inevitably, quite costly.

We are often frightened by what we do not understand. But unlike a new remote, or fancy cell phone that we can ignore, the problem of mental health cannot be shoved aside. Mental health problems are a silent epidemic that are only noticed when someone with a mental health problem is messing up - breaking the law, behaving in unusual ways, or drawing attention to themselves.

Most of us with brain illnesses are able to navigate through society quietly, using tools we have learned to survive, or even thrive in our complicated world. Some are not so fortunate. I am quite fortunate - I have a support system, good physicians, and I am able to make art. On the downside, I cannot keep a rigid, demanding schedule, or be superwoman anymore. Despite my health issues, I can still contribute to society and my family. Art has given me that opportunity.

If you are still reading this, you are either crazy like me, and understand, or are perhaps curious...or enjoying the voyeurism that blogging provides. It doesn't matter to me. What matters is that somewhere out there, someone read the message that they are not alone. Or someone out there learned a little bit about mental health.

Perhaps you won't come back. That is okay. I still plan to write when I am able, talking about boats, art, and common struggles. In fact, over the past few weeks, stories are piling up! That is okay, too. Just the fact that I am out on the boat, or making art is a healthy thing. When the time comes to sit in front of this screen, I will be back. I still want to talk about pea soup fog, and pricing art work. But not today.

Peace and prosperity,
Cathy